God's Grace & Mercy

So we had an incident yesterday. Let me set the stage...

We are in the midst of potty training and there was an accident. I took Evie upstairs to get her cleaned up and changed into new underwear and pants. Well, we are in the full blown two and a half year old brain disequilibrium. She doesn't want to wear diapers, but she doesn't what to put on underwear or clothes (This woman would run around naked all day if she could).
We finally get underwear on her (no pants, it just wasn't worth it) and start to walk down the stairs. She starts crying because she wants me to carry her down the stairs. I do carry her a lot, but am trying to get her to walk because one: she is getting heavy and two: she is old enough to walk and I'm usually carrying Edmund. Well, she stops halfway down the stairs and starts screaming at the top of her lungs. I decide that she can scream if she wants to and continue to go downstairs and make dinner.

Well, Edmund is walking around the main floor and usually when Evie is having a timeout or a tantrum he is drawn to the drama she creates. I notice he is no where in sight and my mind immediate knows what is to follow. I run around to the stairs and just as I turn the corner. Evie pushes Edmund from the mid-landing on the stairs and he is tumbling towards the bottom. PTL I catch him mid-fall and no damage was done.

Evie knew immediately by the look on my face that she had made a HUGE mistake. Honesty, I was so angry with her that I wanted to scream and punish her for what she had done. "How dare she hurt my baby!" was my thinking. I just Praise God for all the great resources that have taught me over the years to respond and not react. I knew I was in a place to punish and not discipline and within nano-seconds I had grabbed Evie's arm and brought her to her room and put her in the crib. I walked out of the room with crying Edmund in my arms and shut the door.

I consoled Edmund and he recovered quite quickly and then it dawned on me...I didn't loose it! I didn't loose it! I didn't utter one word in anger. I didn't treat her harshly. I didn't punish my daughter for making a really bad choice. I didn't do anything that would damage her self-worth and what she thinks about herself. Praise God for his mercy and grace. I was just holding on by a thread to not react badly, but I did it!

I gave Evie (and me) about a 20 minute timeout. Then I went into her room and the first thing she said was "Sorry Edmund". We talked about choices and what to do when we are angry and what not to do. We had lots of hugs and kisses and then she went and apologized to her brother and gave him a hug and kiss on the head. Then we moved on. Life moves on after mistakes and it doesn't help feeling shame or embarrassment about them. Just repent and try to do better next time. It's so nice to see victory in your life. I know this might seem small to some, but to me this was huge. My anger has been a major issue and it is my hope and prayer to speak life into the lives of the ones I love. I want my words to be a blessing and not a curse. I know I'll make more mistakes, but I'm better today than I was yesterday. God is changing me and I'm forever grateful!

Proverbs 21:23 "Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble." (NLT)

Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."